How to Write an Obituary: A Complete Guide to Honoring a Life

Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful tributes you can give to someone you love. It’s also one of the hardest tasks to face while grieving. That’s why more families are choosing to gather this information before it’s needed—turning a crisis-time burden into a thoughtful, prepared gift.

💔 The Phone Call That Changed Everything

David had always been close with his father. Sunday dinners, fishing trips, phone calls just to chat about nothing—their relationship was the kind people envied. So when the hospital called at 2 a.m. to say his father had suffered a massive stroke, David’s world collapsed.

Within 48 hours, his father was gone. And within 72 hours, David found himself sitting at his childhood kitchen table, staring at a blank document on his laptop. The funeral home needed an obituary by morning.

His mother, deep in her own grief, couldn’t remember. His sister was overseas and unreachable. The documents that might have held answers were scattered across filing cabinets, safe deposit boxes, and old shoeboxes in the attic.

David spent that night making phone calls to elderly relatives and digging through faded paperwork instead of being present with his grieving family. The obituary he eventually submitted felt incomplete—a rushed summary rather than the loving tribute his father deserved.

David’s story isn’t unusual. It plays out in hospitals and living rooms every day. But it doesn’t have to happen to your family.

📜 What Is an Obituary, Really?

An obituary serves two essential purposes. First, it announces a person’s death and provides details about memorial services. Second—and perhaps more importantly—it celebrates a life lived, preserving memories for family, friends, and future generations.

Unlike a eulogy, which is delivered as a speech at a funeral service, an obituary is a written announcement typically published in newspapers, online memorial sites, or funeral home websites. According to Grammarly’s obituary writing guide, a good obituary includes essential facts while also capturing what made that person special—their impact on others, their passions, and the qualities that defined them.

The best obituaries, as Legacy.com notes, read less like dry biographical summaries and more like vivid snapshots of a life. They tell stories. They reveal personality. They give readers—even strangers—a sense of who this person truly was.

🎁 Why Preparing in Advance Is a Gift to Your Family

Nobody wants to think about obituaries while their loved ones are still alive. It feels morbid, premature, even disrespectful. But families who have gathered this information in advance consistently describe it as one of the most caring decisions they ever made.

Consider the alternative:

According to the Funeral Consumers Alliance, advance planning allows families to focus their energy on comforting one another rather than scrambling to compile biographical information during an already overwhelming time.

📋 The Information You’ll Need to Gather

Whether you’re writing an obituary today or gathering information for the future, you’ll need to collect specific details. Having these organized in advance transforms a stressful task into a straightforward one.

The funeral pre-planning checklist from Mission San Luis Rey Cemetery notes that details often used in obituaries and service programs should be written down in advance to ensure accuracy and save families from gathering information while grieving.

✍️ How to Write an Obituary: Step by Step

If you’re facing the task of writing an obituary right now, take a breath. The process becomes manageable when broken into steps.

📝 The Essential Elements of an Obituary

While every obituary is unique, most follow a similar structure. Here’s what to include:

💬 Finding the Right Tone

An obituary should reflect the person it honors. A formal business executive might warrant a more traditional tone, while a free-spirited artist might deserve something more creative.

📰 Where to Publish an Obituary

Obituaries can be published in multiple places to reach different audiences. According to Overnight Caskets, common options include:

Many families now also share obituaries on social media to reach friends and family quickly. This is often used alongside traditional publishing methods rather than as a replacement.

🔐 How CareTabs Supports Your Family

David’s story illustrates a critical gap: having information isn’t enough if family members can’t find it when they need it. Obituary details, like other important documents, need to be organized, secure, and accessible during emergencies.

CareTabs provides a secure digital platform where families can store and organize important documents—including the biographical information needed for obituaries. When the time comes, your family will know exactly where to find what they need.

Think of CareTabs as your family’s digital command center for important documents. The information needed for an obituary lives alongside other essential files—all organized, secure, and accessible when your family needs them most.

🚀 Start the Conversation Today

Writing an obituary will never be easy. But having the information gathered in advance transforms an overwhelming task into a manageable one. It lets grieving families focus on what matters: being present with each other, sharing memories, and honoring a life well lived.

Your Next Steps

David spent that difficult night searching through paperwork instead of being with his family. Don’t let that be your family’s story. The time to gather this information is now—during a Sunday dinner, a family visit, or a quiet afternoon. Your loved ones deserve to know they’re honoring your memory exactly as you would have wanted.